he told me, do not appreciate anyone, doesn't appreciating you.
he told me, do not miss anyone, doesn't missing me.
he told me, do not give attention for someone, doesn't care about you.
and he told me, don't Give more than what you Take
and he taught me how to think by my brain not by heart
he taught me how to be strong when i lose someone was dear
he taught me how to Use to be by myself when i have no-one around.
Those lessons are for granted, i've never notice them before but now i think i must walk along and do likewise.
Your experiences must been taken from your daily life :
I had before one week, one of my best friends wedding, i helped her with almost everything for her preparations to the ceremony, i was beside her most of the time, i was sad for her leaving the neighborhood, i was really missing her, i appreciated our past, we went through together as a best friends "as sisters" but suddenly the truth became something different.
She left, did not ask about me, she is missing people else, she is asking about people else, she is calling others, maybe she is not forgetting me, but i thought maybe she will ask about me the time she will finish asking about others, but i think no. it's too bad to feel that you have been ignored from people you didn't ignored them once.
Maybe i was not walking the line, maybe i was naive more than i thought, maybe i was foolish enough not noticing that friends are not existed, maybe i was Intentionally ignoring the mistakes i have been recieved from them, the pain i was going through, maybe i was trying to overcome the comparison and the difference between us, maybe i was trying to overcome on myself, or maybe i was hurting myself, or was challenging between me and myself to overcome those kind of people, or to overcome all this hurt from their side.
Honestly i don't have any idea why i was living there? in this neighborhood exactly ? Specifically with those people ? why i meant to be achy like this "suffering" ?
I was thinking several of times about this, and at the end i knew that without those Rich families i won't ever appreciate my poor life. i won't ever know what Poor means, what ignorance means, what rational means, what Logical means, Democratic means, Sensitive, useful, educated, Reader, Achy, Frustrating, watchfulness, resistor, appreciator means.
those Vocabularies i knew and collected them from my daily life suffering, really proud that i know some new useful affective words.
Only words i had, and Only acts i have. the new life that i have to live is the life that i have to have. "You have to feel what you need to, to take what you deserve, to give what you take, to take what they give you"
No comments:
Post a Comment